As the days get longer and flowers start to bloom, I start to think about fresh green leaves… and genital pain. My last post was about using hot sauce in BDSM, so let’s turn our attention from chiles to another botanical source of agony, the stinging nettle!
Stinging nettles (Urtica dioica) cause pain with hollow stinging hairs which inject chemicals into the skin, a mix of histamine, acetylcholine, serotonin, and others. Formic acid (the same chemical in ant bites- formica is “ant” in Latin) is another chemical in nettles’ blend, and was thought in the past to be the main cause of the sting, but it makes up too small a part of the mixture for that to be the case.
Nettles are a delicious food as well as a source of delicious pain! I love nettle soup with potatoes, for example. Cooking deactivates the sting, and the young leaves taste a lot like spinach. In fact, there’s a Greek pastry, hortopita, which is basically spanakopita with nettles or other wild greens in place of the spinach! Pulverizing the leaves also makes them unable to sting, because the needle-like spines are broken down, so you can also make wonderful nettle pesto if you’d rather eat them raw. This guide to foraging and cooking nettles has many more ideas.
Finding & Identifying Nettles
Wherever in the world you are, there are probably nettles not too distant from you. I look for nettles in areas with moist soil and partial shade. Often, the edges of wooded areas will be more likely to have nettles than deeper in the forest, in my experience. Once you’ve found a spot with nettles, like the one below, you can return every spring and find them in the same place.
There are a few plants which look somewhat similar to nettles and grow in the same moist habitats. One common lookalike is Lamium purpureum, which has a common name referencing this similarity: purple dead-nettle. It’s a “dead-nettle” because the sting is “dead” or in other words, unable to get you.
In the image on the right, you can see stinging nettle on the left and dead-nettle on the right. The leaf shape and growth habit is fairly similar, and you can tell that they like to grow in the same spots! However, the new growth on the nettle is held much more upright, and on the dead-nettle you can see purple flowers getting ready to bloom. Those stinging hairs will be happy to help you remember the difference if you’re confused! Lamium purpureum is soft to the touch and is also edible.
For more information on gathering nettles, here’s a page with information on finding them in the US. Nettles are also common in Europe, and I’d recommend looking up resources specific to your area.
Where and how do I use nettles?
You name it, I’ve probably tried nettles there! On my clit, stuffed into my pussy, in and around my asshole, pushed into my urethra, even on my tongue and uvula. My cervix doesn’t notice nettles as much as other spots, but yes, I’ve tried them there too.
I particularly like using nettles in ways that cause me to be stung at unexpected moments. For instance, with nettles shoved into a hole, I get stung more any time my holes squeeze and clench, which makes it interesting to try to have an orgasm. Putting nettles in my underwear also causes unpredictable stings when I move.
One nice thing about playing with nettles is that, because their chemicals need to get under your skin in order to hurt you, the sting won’t transfer to a partner. If my cunt is burning with hot sauce, only the unwary and the masochistic would slide in. If my cunt is throbbing with nettle stings, on the other hand, just make sure there are no stray leaves left behind! The heat and friction of penetration might cause me more pain, but I would be the only one hurting.
How long does it hurt? What’s the aftercare?
Pain from nettles does take some time to fade. It’s not like a slap that you only feel while it’s actively happening, and I think that’s part of the fun. Nettles also leave behind a distinctive swollen rash, called urticaria. Opinions vary on whether urticaria looks sexy or not, so evaluate that for yourself before you use nettles anywhere visible!
When I get nettle stings on my hands in the process of picking them, I sometimes feel it for a few days, particularly any time I put my hands in hot water. The sting fades much more quickly when it’s on my genitals, but it also starts out much more intensely painful! In general, I find it distractingly painful for an hour or maybe two after removing the nettles, and noticeable for an hour or two more, with faint hints of throbbing sting lasting for up to 12 hours.
Because of how nettles work, injecting chemicals into your skin with tiny hairs, they are causing broken skin, albeit on a tiny scale. Just like any other time you break the skin in play, I recommend making sure you keep the area very clean afterward. If you’re doing intense nettle play genitally or anally, a bidet or sitz bath might come in handy. I’m also cautious about what lotions and other skin care products I use after playing with nettles. If I would avoid a product when I have a nick from shaving, I don’t use that product right after nettles either.
Will you try them this year?
Nettles have the most powerful sting (and are the best food) in the spring, so I think of them as a seasonal delight- something to indulge in as much as possible while they’re at their peak, like peaches or asparagus. Get out there and find some while they’re available!
Of course, you may prefer to live vicariously through me, when it comes to stinging nettles! I film a few clips with them each year, and this season’s crop will be coming soon. A few videos that I’m especially pleased with from past years include stinging nettle dildo fuck, extreme close-up stinging nettle on clit, stapled shut and stuffed full of nettles, and nettles ruin orgasms.